It’s been an interesting journey since I left the course in March. Coming back into every day life after complete silence was quite overwhelming. Even sending a text seemed hard. I realised how life is a complete bombardment of stimulus and how much energy everything takes.
By that I mean the energy we need to do things but also how much I give away my energy. Which is only natural with the work I do but a reminder to make sure I keep my energy levels stocked up to be able to have it to give it.
After about a week of being back I started to experience numbness down my left hand side, from my rib cage down to my big toe. Interestingly this was the side I felt pain when sitting through the meditation and not moving. A couple of months later I am not sure what it was that caused it still but I have noticed it still flares up now if I go into over busy mode. It’s almost like my body signalling to slow down!
What worked for me to heal the numbness was to lie on the floor in “constructive rest position” to release my psoas which was incredibly tight, I suspect from sitting up right so much! This position is wonderful though if you have any tension around the hips, gluts, into the legs. Just lie there for at least 20 minutes and allow everything to release.
The lesson here for me as I often get is to just slow down and relax. I have been loving just stopping every now and then through out the day to drop into silence and stillness.
My journey of Faith is deepening more and more each day. I can feel God working within me, guiding me and looking after me. It’s so hard to describe but I get a strong sense of knowing now what is the right thing for me to do, or not to. I have a sense of trust that things really are working out for my own good and it’s all part of a bigger plan for me. Every day I ask the Holy Spirit to fill me and I actually feel it, warm energy coming down in through the palms of my hands and my heart feels filled up.
It amazes me that I have got to this stage after resisting God for so many years. It’s so true though once you ask him into your life he does start to change you. It can be challenging as I was thinking one way for so long and now I am seeing some things in a different light.
My intention recently has been happiness. By this I mean true inner happiness, not the external happiness we think we’ll achieve when we get something. I am running a 2 day workshop, The Happiness Effect, purely based around this in June so my time at the moment is spent talking and reading about happiness…..and what is so amazing is that the more you focus on happiness the more you experience it. As with any intention of course….
Happiness is also embracing sadness too, it’s not just all about positive thinking to get you through the day. After all you can be in a job you hate or a relationship that’s not right but thinking “positively” to get through it.
Taking the lesson from Vipassana, just allowing yourself to be with any feeling and then watching them pass with out being attached in away is one of the keys to inner happiness.
Taking time to think about the things that really make you happy and asking yourself how often you actually experience them can be quite revealing. A few things that make me really happy are…
- Watching the sun sparkle on the sea
- Going for tea & home-made cake with a friend for a catch up
- Being with animals (esp cats!)
- Swimming in the sea
- Dancing in the sunshine
- Going somewhere new on my own and exploring
- Laughing out loud
- Learning new things
- Going home to my parents
- Practising yoga
- Hula hooping on the sea front
- Living in Hove
What makes you really happy?