Last time I wrote my intention was connecting to “I Am”, to that state of being-ness which is our true Self. The essence of who we are, the unchanging energy that is always present, always there, never faltering with the fluctuations of the monkey mind.
I haven’t written since as I have really just been drawn to staying with this presence. My meditation practice and desire to connect is growing stronger and stronger and I am finding awareness of this state more as I go about my day to day life.
Over the Bank Holiday weekend we went to a yoga festival, Into the Wild, well I say yoga it was that and more; dance, workshops, live music, meditation, sound baths, creativity, kirtan and hanging out with friends. These festivals are wonderful they are a break from every day life, a chance to walk barefoot, turn phone off, be outdoors, and just flow from one lovely thing to another.
Sounds idyllic? Well it is but also I am noticing more that in these environments stuff is bought up to be released. There is a lot of healing work going on. Some workshops and general situations you come across there are challenging. I learnt this time my tendency to get so over excited about things, to place so much pressure on events being “fun”, “the best time” when actually sometimes they are really hard, then I feel disappointed that they aren’t so much fun after all. Expectations created by the mind are not met. I found myself noticing old patterns that don’t serve me anymore and it upset me, but actually I had the awareness and could deal with it there and then. I left feeling at peace, renewed and even more so wanting to explore this state I find in my meditation.
I am learning that you can’t be completely still in meditation, connected to this “being-ness” all the time but it is always there, it is who I am and to trust that life will flow even with out my mind organising, planning and fretting about things. Decisions will get made, situations will resolve, in the right time for them. I don’t have to try so hard to make everything happen, I can allow and trust.
So since return from the field of fairy houses, drumming, fire, beautiful music and sunshine I have been focusing on allowing. Every thing is still getting done, and actually there’s been some lovely unexpected surprises.
So this is my intention for now; Connecting and Allowing.