Being a Little Scared in Kerala!!

Hello from India!! How exciting, this is my first post from here after talking about it for so long. In fact the whole idea of this blog came from my idea of a trip to India; to be able to  write and finally travel extensively around this beautiful country.

I can’t believe this time last week I was in chilly Milford on Sea, it seems like a lot has happened since. I touched down in Kerala last Thursday and came to spend my first few days in the beach resort of Varkala. Before I left people kept saying to me I was brave to be doing this alone and I didn’t really feel like it was. I was excited and just couldn’t wait to get here. A day after arriving though it hit me…….I am on my own in this HUGE country, arrghhh! I felt totally overwhelmed.

The thought of travelling the whole length of India right up to the Himalaya’s started to panic me a little. One morning I started to plan a rough idea of my next few weeks and began to feel a little sick. What am I doing? ….and what if I don’t meet anyone?!! To add to it I accidentally ate a peanut one morning in my masala dosa pancake, an India breakfast delicacy. It might sound little but it’s one of my biggest fears being very allergic to them.

Luckily I had just done my morning yoga and was sat on the cliff top so feeling very calm. The waiter brought me lots of milk, bless him, which helps and slowly as I looked out to sea thinking peaceful thoughts the allergic reaction passed. It ended up being very minor. It did again make me feel a bit alone. There is a positive to this happening though, I survived so I now know I will be ok if it was to happen again. 🙂

However….since these small moments of panic I have centered myself and have realized all I need to do is do what makes me feel good every moment, in other words just be present (it’s amazing how the intentions are just flowing into each other as the months go by). As long as I make the most of each day here and trust what ever happens is exactly how it is meant to be I will be ok.

Since these thoughts arose I have relaxed, I have started to meet people and the 2 yoga classes a day are having the most wonderful effect both mentally and physically. My energy is back,  I feel excited, nervous but very lucky to have this amazing freedom ahead of me. I truly want to trust what the universe/God wants for me, put myself in his hands and see where it takes me.

My new mantra for this trip is “The Universe/ God will give me what I need”.

Once again my intention for each month is totally relevant – this is the month of being courageous!!! How apt!! I have been focusing on that and have been pushing my boundaries in yoga. Today I managed to stand on my head with out assistance for a couple of second, I had to have help getting up there but I managed to balance on my own once I was there, so chuffed! This is one of my goals for this trip, to be able to do a headstand and crow! It’s fear that stops me, trying to get up there and then falling backwards.

I also put on my courageous hat and went to a half moon party on my own, unfortunately it wasn’t as exciting as it sounds but at least I went along!!

Top 3 highlights so far have been:

1) Watching the sunset, high up in a restaurant over looking the sea, drinking Chai tea and listening to my favourite old Cafe Del Mar CD.

2) Dynamic yoga every afternoon on a roof top looking out of the palm trees to the sea.

3) Eating my breakfast and watching dolphins swim by.

Right, I am being kicked out of the internet cafe now so that is it until next week. I am going into Sivanander ashram tomorrow, with out connection to the outside world, so will report about that experience on the other side!

Namaste 🙂


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