I have had quite an unbelievable couple of weeks. Two weeks ago on Sunday I asked God for a breakthrough in my relationship with Ben. It wasn’t that there was really anything wrong apart from a disconcerting feeling that something wasn’t right. I just felt that maybe a honest conversation was needed to be had.
One week later we broke up! I certainly hadn’t expected that, I had strong feelings for Ben and I didn’t want it to be over. I felt incredibly sad and disappointed that we could not have found a way to work it out, it all seemed such a shame as we were good together. I questioned God, how could that be a break through, it certainly wasn’t what I wanted!!
Last week was a whirlpool of emotions. I know that in any kind of upsetting circumstances the best thing to do is to do what ever I feel like doing, to allow the feelings to come and to do loving things for myself. I fully embraced this and actually ended up having a really lovely week.
I practised my yoga, I had lots of laughter with friends, I gave myself and others Reiki, I watched films, sat in the sunshine on the beach, had massages, hula hooped, spent extra time at the cats home and I went home to my parents. By Saturday I was feeling more uplifted than anything and as I walked along the beach I started to come to realise what I could learn from the situation.
I strongly believe there is always something to learn through the hard times and if you can take responsibility for your side of things that empowers you to know you will not go through it again once the lesson is learned. Until you learn the lesson you will just keep repeating the same pattern over and over again.
Ben was like no other man I have met before, he broke many of my past patterns. He was so much of what I am looking for in a man that I am happy to know energetically I am attracting someone like that into my life. It began as a whirlwind though, which many of my relationships do, and I believe this is the lesson for myself. It was only further down the line I realised actually he wasn’t really right for me.
My heart is so open I let people in very quickly, I am never cautious, I romantically rush in head first. My heart is precious and I think the lesson here is about slowing down, taking my time and listening to my heart. Not just in relationships but in all aspects of life. I have written here before how I have a tendency to do things rather quickly!
Just before we broke up, someone prayed for me and said they felt drawn to tell me that God doesn’t always give you what you want but he gives you what you need. I have faith this needed to happen for some reason, that there is something better for me around the corner and that I am being looked after. I really do feel that in my heart.
My intention week is the yoga practice of Ahimsa which is one of a “Yama’s” of the 8 limbs of Yoga. A Yama is an ethical discipline. Ahimsa means non violence to all beings. The flip side of this is love, being loving to all creation. This includes to yourself. It’s in thought, word and action, in every way of your being. I’ll be bringing this to life in my yoga class this evening and sharing it with my class. I am so grateful for teaching yoga, I love it!